It was all a rather unexpected retreat. The circumstances of
my life were radically rearranged and I stepped back from
my work for awhile. In this new time and place, hourly
appointments, calendars, and clocks no longer structured
my days. I had none of the familiar labels which had for so
long defined me ~ teacher, counselor, therapist,
psychologist, program director, project coordinator, social
activist, college professor. I couldn't rely on these
respectable titles to figure out just where and how I fit into
the world. There wasn't an office to go to. There wasn't
even a desk in the tiny bungalow the three of us shared.
When people asked, "How are you?," I could no longer say I
was busy or attempt to prove the value of my existence by
describing all the Very Important Things I was scheduled to
do. There was hardly anyone around who even knew my
name.Amidst the joy and wondrous simplicity of my life, my
mind wrestled with questions about who-I-am and what-I-do
and the meaning and purpose of my life. Without my usual
forty-plus hours of work every week, I wasn't quite sure how
to measure my accomplishments or where to look for
reassurance that I was making some kind of meaningful
contribution to the world.But as it turned out, it was without alarm clocks and
deadlines, without rushing onto the next thing while trying to
change the world, that I became vividly aware of all the time
and energy I'd spent leaving myself behind. And so there
appeared a remarkable invitation. To remember. To
embrace my own soul. To get reacquainted with me.It was in a one-room house with my beloved partner and
our spirited dog where I experienced rich abundance. There
I discovered the spaciousness of love and the vastness of
being, within me and all around.It was in wearing the same tattered clothes everyday
that I found out about freedom from the search for love and
acceptance through the lure of external facades.Without television and newspapers, it was our spiritual
journeys, the colors of sunsets, the sightings of quail, the
baking of marionberry pies, the first brush of paint on a
canvas, the songs of tree frogs and crickets, our
conversations with family and friends, the finding of
feathers, the return of the June bugs, and nights spent out
under the stars that became the headline news.With walks in the woods rather than work-outs at the
gym, with nourishing foods rather than diets, I contentedly
settled back into my body in a balanced and nurturing way.It was in visiting with ravens and lizards and trees, with
mountains and rivers and rocks, that I felt my connection
and reclaimed my belonging in the extraordinary web of life.It was in easing the wars that waged within me that I
contributed to peace on earth.There inside the potent healing of compassion, I found
what it is that I want to share.In the sacred space of my own remembering, I
discovered I'd found my way home. Worldwide Copyright © 2006 JoAnne DodgsonJoAnne Dodgson is a healer, teacher and author (Gifts of
the Grandmother and Walking the Spiral Path) whose work
is centered in the ancient tradition Ka Ta See, "living in
balance from the heart." She has been involved in
counseling, holistic healing, teaching and community
outreach for over twenty years. She has a doctorate in
counseling psychology and has been on the faculty in
holistic health, women's studies and pychology programs.
Visit http://www.pathwa
ysforhealing.net for more information
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