Author : Paul Davis
It's never any fun to be on the receiving end of an irritable person's tongue. No matter the content of what they say, how they say it shreds everyone who can hear them to smithereens. The sad thing is the person lashing out is often so self-absorbed and on a mission to see their own agenda realized that they are clueless as to their destructive demeanor. This self-righteous individual with the assertive tongue rarely recognizes the damage they do when they open their mouth.When any small unexpected thing enters their day and way, they complain and wine. Since it is all about them, the fact that you have to listen to their laundry list of complaints does not matter. The ironic thing is if you ever say anything borderline critical or questioning to such a person, they immediately take offense. Such defensive reactions by the belligerent and boisterous individual typically involve playing the martyr or the "take my ball and go home" approach, which is usually followed by erecting of relational walls.These are all subtle forms of manipulation. Noise pollution via fluctuating voice tones are the expertise of the master manipulater. They know how to sweet talk you when everything is going their way, and when it's not complain until you yield. When things aren't going their way everyone knows it because they are quite vocal to voice their displeasure. If you stand your ground and remain firm in any slight disagreement with them, you immediately are demonized and ostracized.Relational connection has to be done the way of the master manipulator and martyr if there is to be any intimacy at all. Otherwise they will work havoc on your soul until you yield to their desires. Such was Delilah's subtlety as she wore Samson down daily with her words. "She pressed him daily with her words, and urged him, so that his soul was vexed unto death" (Judges 16:16).There is a place in a man's soul where death looks like a better option than living with a temperamental self-willed woman. When a man has nothing to hear at home beyond his wife's complaining, nagging, criticizing, belittling, and bombarding of her wants and will it leaves him with little desire to come home.Yet this is not one-sided. Men can be overbearing too by reason of their explosive tempers and rageful discourse. Many use anger and violence to scare everyone at home into submission. Domestic terrorists these men don't have true intimacy because everybody has fled seeking security. The most interaction relationally that can occur thereafter is appeasement, as the less strong family members pacifiy the forceful dictator.The answer for angry, irritable individuals (be they male or female) causing noise pollution and violently vocalizing themselves at the expense of their hearers is simple self-control, restraint, and discretion."The discretion of a man defers his anger" (Proverbs 19:11). "As a jewel of gold in a pig's snout, so is a beautiful woman without discretion" (Proverbs 11:22). The most handsome and beautiful people can become ugly real quick if they cannot control their tongue. Noise pollution contaminates the heart and soul, not to mention rapidly removes joy from the atmosphere.Here are some simple secrets to overcome noise pollution:1. Leave the room and presence of the person irritating you.2. Take a deep breath and count to 10.3. Think before you speak.4. Purpose not to add fuel to the fire and further escalate the disagreement.5. Manage your time wisely and don't get caught into an unecessary battle that will render you unproductive.6. Be willing to lose the battle to win the war.7. Erect and establish appropriate boundaries as best you can to minimize such unwanted confrontation.If you are the loud mouth causing all of the trouble, I pray you will humble yourself, gain self-control, repent to those you've mistreated, and pray God cleanse and make you whole. If you are the recipient to all of the bull and aggravating bulldozer treatment, I pray you will remember you are special to your Creator and celebrated by others.Sadly many times those who profess to love us the most and are in close proximity to us daily at home, often show us respect and love the least. Nevertheless don't you waver in your level of self-respect and personal dignity despite the way others nearby mistreat you. Position yourself to overcome evil with good.Pray God who has the hearts of men within His hand (Proverbs 21:1) will turn hearts toward Him, bring people to self-awareness, humility, and reconciliation. We all at some point offend and disregard others. Therefore show mercy to those who wrong you and pray for an opportunity to firmly but gently address their inappropriate behavior and manner of communication. Blessed are the merciful for they too shall receive mercy (Matthew 5:7). Sometimes those who need love the most deserve it the least.Paul Davis is a life coach (relational & professional), traveling minister and fitness trainer. Paul is the author of several books including Breakthrough for a Broken Heart; and God vs. Religion. Paul is a popular worldwide keynote speaker, creative consultant, humor being, adventurer, explorer, mediator, minister, liberator and dream-maker.Paul's compassion for people & passion to travel has taken him to over 50 countries of the world where he has had a tremendous impact. Paul has served in many war-torn, impoverished and tsunami stricken regions of the earth. His nonprofit organization Dream-Maker Ministries is building dreams, breaking limitations and reviving nations.Paul's Breakthrough Seminars inspire, revive, awaken, impregnate with purpose, impart the fire of desire, catapult people into a new level of self-awareness, facilitate destiny discovery and dream fulfillment.Contact Paul to minister, speak at your event or for life coaching: RevivingNations@yahoo.com, 407-967-7553.For additional info: http://www.DreamMakerMinistries.com, http://www.CreativeCommunications.TV
Keyword : voice tones,processing yourself and others,self awareness,humility,happiness,tonality,communication
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