Barbara sought my help because of her chronic fatigue. She had been
going to different kinds of doctors and trying different nutrition plans for years and nothing was helping her. One of the doctors suggested that
she try psychotherapy.In became evident early in our work together than Barbara was deeply
addicted to thinking the worst. Constant negativity went through her
mind about every aspect of her life. She would get out of her car and
worry about getting robbed. In social situations, she would tell herself
that people didn't like her. She was always worried about money, even
though she was a successful graphic designer. Her husband could
never do anything right. There was something wrong with every doctor
she saw.Negative thinking causes much stress in the body. I told Barbara to
imagine that she was telling these negative thoughts to a child. How
would the child feel most of the time? Barbara could see that this child
would, of course, feel anxious and stressed much of the time in
response to all the negativity and catastrophic thinking.The medical profession has long told us that stress is one of the leading
causes of illness. Stress sets into motion the body's fight or flight
response, pouring cortisol into the body and eventually exhausting the
adrenal glands. Adrenal exhaustion can be one of the results of so
much negative thinking.While Barbara could understand the possible effect her negative
thinking was having on her health, it was extremely challenging for her
to give up her negative thinking. Barbara deeply believed that her
negative thinking kept her safe from disappointment. She believed that
thinking the negative thought before the bad thing would happen
prepared her to deal with it. She didn't want to be caught off guard. She
believed that she could not handle the pain of disappointment, so that if
she knew about it ahead of time and actually expected it, she wouldn't
feel disappointed.In addition, Barbara believed that if she was vigilant enough and
thought through all the bad things that could happen, she could prevent
them. She believed that by thinking ahead, she could somehow have
control over the outcome of things.Finally, Barbara also believed that she could control how people felt
about her by acting right and saying the right thing. She was constantly
vigilant about her behavior with others in her attempts to control how
they felt about her and treated her.However, in trying to control her feelings, others' feelings and the
outcome of things, Barbara may have been causing her illness. The
underlying cause of her negative thinking was her devotion to this
control.The problem with all of this is that it is based on an illusion – the illusion
of control. The fact is that Barbara could not foresee every event that
could cause her some pain. She was devastated every time something
happened that she had not thought of beforehand. How could
something painful come out of the blue like that? How could she have
not foreseen it?The paradox of all of this is that, in trying to foresee future catastrophes,
Barbara was not present in the moment. Real safety is in being present
in the moment so we can respond appropriately to whatever is
happening in the moment. When we are fully present in the moment, we
are available to receiving information from our inner Guidance. All of us
have a Source of Guidance that is always available to us, and that is
here to help us and protect us. But we can access our Guidance only
when we are fully present in the moment, not when we are trying to
control the future.Barbara is in the process of becoming more aware of her negative
thinking. She is not yet healthy, but she has some better days now, days
that are lighter and more fun.Moving out of negative thinking is a process that takes time. If you are a
negative thinker, you have been practicing this form of thinking your
whole life. It is not going to stop in a day. But if you tune into the stress
you feel and learn to connect your stress with your negative thinking,
you can slowly change this pattern.Vitality and joy can be the result of letting go of your negative thinking
and learning to be present in the moment.Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight
books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" and
"Healing Your Aloneness." She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner
Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site
for a FREE Inner Bonding course:
http://www.innerbonding.com or email her
at
margaret@innerbonding.com Phone Sessions Available.
Keyword : negative thinking, addiction to negativity, anxiety, stress, depression, illness, health
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